Blog

This post is a little personal.   And, (clears throat) I’m quite uncomfortable.  I’ve posed a personal blog challenge to myself and I have to say myself is somewhat itchy about it.  I suppose my challenge is not so much to blog more but to blog more real, more raw.  I think the reason I don’t blog much - is not because I don’t have ideas - but rather that I keep waiting for that complete thought, that epiphany, that beautiful brain bubble to fully materialize – and it doesn’t.  You see, I’m a bit of a perfectionist and therefore also sometimes / often a procrastinator.

I’m lucky that my team and I get to do the work we love.  We work with some of the largest and most prestigious brands in the world (big names, interesting projects– quite a handful that I can’t share on our website but you know who you are) helping them to make transformational change in their organizations…helping them solve some of their most vexing organizational issues – like how to collaborate, innovate, share knowledge, better communicate with their employees, uplevel their leadership…

Everyday I’m sharing with clients what they need to do to be successful in creating this environment for their employees  - they need to create a safety net for failure, they need to open their kimonos, they need to share more openly and allow debate, they need to get input on ideas from employees before they become steadfast commands on which to execute, they need to incent their teams, they need to distribute decision making and empower employees to make the right choices for the customers.

Well, man oh man, I have to say that as I was thinking about this blog post over the holiday, I realized that I often am not living up to the very things I espouse.  Oh, God, am I a change maker wannabe?

For instance, I am timid to write the blog, my next book, my next whatever because I don’t want my ideas to be up for scrutiny.  I’m afraid to be out there in the open and vulnerable.  Everything my team and I produce needs to be polished, exacting, absolutely complete before I let anyone see it.  I am steadfast on my ideas and convictions but then someone comes along who intimidates me pushing back or questioning me and I retreat.  As for failing on a project, a commitment, a relationship, it’s perfectly okay, in my mind, for others to misstep because they’re only human -- but as for me?  Nope, no way, no how….  I need to do it right the first time (every time) or I beat myself up for days.  My perfectionist streak has driven this car for quite a long time.

As you can imagine, I’m not normally so “open” about these things but I’ve had quite a year.  Really transformational in its own right.   Some up’s but a lot of down’s mostly due to an ailing mother who will lose a battle with cancer – and, all at once (after working through years on Earth being this way), a deep realization that being fearful, being in control and being stoic brings with it no progress, no growth and a desperate clinging to the old – in life or in work.

As I have contemplated the imprint I want to make on the world moving forward and building up the wherewithal to always be what I value and believe in, I have pondered what I believe are the things that really separate the ones who make change from the ones who simply say (or perhaps, believe) they do.

How you can be the change maker you’re meant to be…

• Trust yourself.  Really, really trust yourself.  You don’t trust that you’re necessarily *right* but you are secure enough in your ideas, hypotheses and convictions that you’re willing to put them out there for dialogue

• You can’t be a change maker if you’re afraid of being scrutinized and examined.  At your core, you have to be ready for someone to debate, disagree or call you stupid; all the while, hoping what you have to say resonates for at least one person and makes a difference.  Pontificating in safe company does not drive real change (Remember the whole “you’re preaching to the choir” thing) - You can’t be safe if you want to be prolific.

• Don’t let perfectionism cripple and sabotage you.    Give yourself permission to take actions everyday imperfectly.  Even though it may pull at you, you let your perfectionist mindset go because you know all it brings you is high stress and low output.  When you start to obsess or fret it’s not enough, you take a deep breath and keep dancing.  Change makers make steady, and sometimes only small actions every day – but they add up to transformation over time.  On the other hand, perfectionists rarely get started, because perfection is in very short supply.

• Don’t shield yourself with hubris and arrogance. There are a lot of people who put thoughts out there in the world but if you challenge them, even the slightest, they will attack you.  They’re not open to contribution or community.  They’re up for grandstanding, pontificating and letting you know how right - and important they are.  These people may believe they’re leading change but they’re often isolating themselves.  And truly, how impactful can someone in isolation be?

• You share your ideas and knowledge with unflinching courage. You don’t hoard because you trust that by sharing and learning with others, it doesn’t extinguish your flame, it helps it burn more brightly. You know that ideas and thoughts are infinite; not something in short supply to covet fearing you won’t be as valuable or others will steal your idea.  When you treat your thoughts and ideas in this limited way you’re worried about where the next one will come from, instead of treasuring and cultivating the ones you have.  It squelches your creativity.  I remember hearing something once, to the tune of,  “to guard the heart is to guard the mind which guards the thoughts…” and I am pretty sure you can’t really find your voice until you’ve let your heart be heard.

These are a few thoughts from my own experience and observations and there’s more to come (after all, there’s that personal blog challenge thingy) – I’d love to continue this list and hoping you will contribute ideas and stories to the mix.  What have you seen that really separates the change makers from the pack?

Happy New Year!

- S